I left my bed

Funnily enough, I wasn't able to write this post whilst I was actually feeling like poop. I was waking up with the classic chest crushing that comes with being depressed. A depressed almost 25 year old who is flunking uni because of it and doesn't know what she's doing. Classic. Although in this day and age, we don't need to have to have it all together until we're like 35 now right? 25 is the new 17 and I am mostly okay with it. During this week, I sought out my classic "low comforts" with some surprising new additions. I figured there was a post in it and maybe it will help someone else. Smoking Controversial riiiiiight? For the most part, I am a non smoker but when the black dog is in town it actually really helps. Don't go and do it if you don't, for the love of lungs! But if you do, make yourself a cup of tea, a custard cream and appreciate the nicotine. Shower Obvious maybe but obviously lush. Routine is a good thing to try and...

This post has been on my mind for a while now mostly because I'm finding out how the real world works, and some of it isn't pretty. Including the MLM world. Some people still ask me from time to time if im still working on "my buisness" or why i stopped so, I guess I should start with it is a big fat LIE . I started my journey with a company who sell health and fitness products. I was firstly introduced into the world by someone I knew, I grew uncomfortable, started working with someone else who I didn't know, even more uncomfortable and still didn't accept the bizzare feeling. You see, I wanted to help people. That's what I realised. And helping people doesn't make a good sales lady, in any way. It all started going mostly down hill when I invited my dad to a presentation. To his adorable credit, he came, knowing all about what it was going to be about. I was under no illusion that it wasn't a "pyramid style" selling system but I didn...

It's been 2 weeks, into the new year full of hope and promise and i've gone and done the opposite what my very blog suggests I do, I've barely left my bed. I felt guilty for a while, for atleast a week. Being in the new year full of new promise and all that crap, I felt bad for not taking up 272 hobbies, waking up to sunrises and siezing the day. Now i'm over it. If this is what I need then so be it. I wanted my blog to be real. It was always a lifestyle blog but the more I wrote, the more I wanted it to be an accurate representation which includes the struggles, the lows as well as the highs. Honestly, I am finding January to be down right miserable this year. I am soooo over the cold weather and the dark nights. I am missing my family and my old friends. I am finding that I don't have many new ones in London anymore and I'm tired of being constantly aroused by anxiety everytime I leave my front door. That shit is tiring. Sleep is either too exsistent or...

I haven't left my bed for about 4 days for no other reason than I just didn't want to. I didn't want to face anyone, real life and the fact that it was the "start of a new year" put all that more guilt on me. Shouldn't I be running around, squatting, seizing the day? No, I was just in bed, barely eating anything more than the bags of sweets lying around and cups of tea or coke James brought me. In this time of thought, I started thinking about what mattered the most and what I wanted to achieve from this year. As much as I hate the whole "New years resolutions" to start something you can start any time, I do somehow always map out some goals for the coming year. It's mostly worked out in my favour so far, having an idea what I want to do to get me closer to somewhere I want to be, so in spirit of that, here are my ideas for 2016. Spend more time with my grandparents They aren't going to be here forever. As long as I am freaking ...

I was at my highest weight to my knowledge at 10.4lbs, which is a bit of junk in trunk carrying for a 5footer. I'd settled into a routine of drinking lots of red wine after about 2 years of not and eating more Camembert than you can shake a stick at. My partner then moved to London to go to university and that's when I started to eat less. It wasn't a concious thing. All I had knew was that the man I loved had moved over 100 miles away and we were destined to be doomed. Neither of us could work out how to make it work. I decided we shouldn't try and then changed my mind. James, my partner, then decided it was best that we didn't try and changed his mind. As you can imagine, all of this took a toll on my appetite, not to mention the now 40 cigarettes I was smoking a day to help with heartache and hopeless depression about not having a job, or a goal, life or now the man I love. Awesome. I moved to London in an effort to completely revamp my life. I was aware it...

Oh my life, I barely know what I am going to be doing in the next 7 hours, let alone 7 years, so I think this will be a hard one to write about. Considering this writing challenge prompts are quite personal, i may switch to a different one, purely because I don't want to bore you with what I'm going to be doing within 7 years but would rather try and inspire people to be doing what THEY want in 7 years... But I guess that's a different post. 7 years ago today, I had just left college, dreaming of being a famous singer and having no effective immediate plans to put that in place but figured it would "just happen". I was in my infamous years of drinking mostly vodka, and partying purely for the love of dancing. The Confuser, the band founded by my college friends and myself were still gigging a little and life was grand and very not adult. Looking back, 17 was the most fun age for me I think. It was the age full of promise and I still had so much time ahead...

I think it's pretty self explanatory where the name came from for my blog but incase there are any of you wondering out there, it's this week that it's been hammered home for me the most, possibly since i started my blog. The whole reason i started my blog was to pin point when i left the house and did something new, fun and exciting. To show me when i've actually lived life instead of slept or netflixed through it. This week i struggled a lot. Not to go too much into detail cos you know #personal but feeling like leaving the house or my bed was one of the biggest efforts i could make this week. It's not because i'm lazy. I love being busy, being proactive and learning but sometimes the black dog just wants to have a lie down and more often than not, he wins. It's not entirely down to that, i have been poorly in the truest sense of the word. Your classic summer to autumn transitional lurgy has been forever (10 days) coursing through my veins and out ...

As i was boiling my spring greens for the occasional healthy salad i like to make as an attempt of trying to replicate what i eat out, i tipped away all the green juice in the pan and was suddenly like... OH MY GOD. So i poured the rest into a glass, this is where the good stuff is right? That's why steaming is better, because it keeps all the nutrients locked in. If, like me, sometimes you have a kitchen so grubby you cant find things to steam in and the microwave smells like 4 other peoples curries (#studenthalls) you may find refuge in a saucepan. I thought to myself, WHY AM I POURING ALL THE GOODNESS AWAY and came up with an idea to make it more drinkable. I chose - Spring greens - Basil - Spinach But feel free to wack in like Parsley cos that's well good for you, kale... you know the drill. Boil and save all the veg for dinner and use the juice. Add whatever you want to it. I imagine apple juice would be great, 100% pure obvs. Almond milk would probably work if you want a ...

I'm going to be honest about why i started this blog. I've medium touched on it but you know, just little snippets.  I don't like laying too much out on the internet, a) It's not smart and b) Where's the mystery, guys?! but this isn't that much of a secret. I suffer from depression and anxiety disorder. These 2 disorders have plagued my entire life and not without other disorders coming and going throughout growing up.  The point is, i first started this blog as an outlet but also with a shell. "Sophie is loving life and here's what you can do with yours etc." But, that's bullshit. Am i happy in all the things i have done and written about? Absolutely. Did it take me fucking 5 hours to make it out of bed to maybe do it? Quite possibly.  I switch between writing about things I have seen, done and love, to writing about things i have discovered about myself, life and my brain.  I've wondered how to merge these two ...

After the past 3 months of trying to find a part time job to keep me afloat in London, i've fucking thrown in the towel. ... Just kidding. But i am back for 2 months. I went bounding there, so full of promise that after my redundancy, i would be able to bounce back and find a job in no time. It's London right, with all of the jobs?! Wrong. London is about as organised as i am. If you know me, it's not great news. In fact i was surprised to learn that Hereford might genuinely be more on course. I understand there are less population, less power, generally less of everything... but come on London, pull yourself together! I have jumped through all kinds of hoops, security and otherwise to try and secure myself something to pay my rent whilst i continue to write, and to not much avail. Just a lot of waiting. Its nearing the point where i will be able to move in with a certain special someone and so now, i have taken a step back to save, re-group, sublet my room in Lond...

On the tube on the way to work today, I realised how much i almost didn't need my new phone. I mean sure, my old one broke and that's a pretty valid reason, but i branched out and got a contract. Purely because i can't afford a good pay as you go phone. My dad would say something along the lines of "Does it make calls? Does it text? Then its a good phone" and he would be right. But i was thinking to myself, what about all my apps, you know? What about Snapchat? Instagram? City Mapper? Twitter that i don't use? I thought about how i spend more time thinking about how i have to take a picture of my drink to go on instagram, rather than what i'm actually drinking. I don't really use Snapchat, but imagine the amount of moments we don't actually experience because we have to put them on our "story". (Apart from Jakes, Jakes stories can stay) I'ts just fucking absurd. And whilst i do like city mapper, most of the time it sends me in the w...

A lot of people are going to have "lose weight", "get in shape", or "drop a dress size" as one of their new years resolutions. They will purchase a gym membership, or maybe of received one from a well intentioned relative at Christmas, opening it whilst they stuff celebrations into their mouth ( I totes stuffed celebrations into my mouth at every available opportunity), and then go in all guns blazing, only to throw in the towel a week later. Or they may do the opposite, and embark on a "detox" of only water, lemons, syrup, 0 calorie clouds, unicorns, whatever. I'm here to give you my opinion on that - don't do it. At the young age of 19 *cries*, I was a very slender size 6 after going from a 12. It was pretty much by accident. I developed a love of soup and didn't have an emotional attachment with food in any way, so I got into a routine and 4 months down the line was about 2 stone lighter. It wasn't as simple as that and there...