Dismaland

Outside.

I’m drinking wine as we speak. Whether it is the stress that uni is upon me, or the fact I now need glasses for activities such as the cinema, I can’t help but feel like this wonderful trip out contributed to how miserable I feel.
Dismaland was everything I wanted to be and more.

We arrived to Weston super- mare around 3.30 pm and had a nice walk along the beach with a drink before arriving at the queue. It didn’t look bad and luckily for us, we had the glorious sun to stand and wait in. I had to take all my winter prep layers off it was that hot and I am not a girl that likes to be without a jumper, #unessicarysweatpatches anyone?
As we got closer to the kiosk, we realised this wasn’t your normal queue and it wasn’t your normal kiosk.

“LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, I KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING 4 TO 6 HOURS, BUT IF YOU COULD JUST PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU CAN HAVE THE CORRECT CHANGE IT WOULD SAVE A LOT MORE TIME” bellowed a man with a megaphone.
Shit. They are pissed off. I looked at James and Lewis like… eeeeeek, and frantically started searching my bag for the right money. Then about 3 minutes later… “WHAT IS 3 PLUS 3 PLUS 3…. 9. WELLDONE FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO COUNT.”
Oh. Trollin’.

That’s when I realised this wasn’t going to be a fun experience at all. Numerous other announcements were made including you weren’t allowed in if you had tattoos and if you had a sense of humour, to please leave it at the door because you wouldn’t be allowed in. Great.
We hopelessly watched a poor foreign girl, maybe travelling, by herself, be a victim of this abuse. She tried to pay with a £50 note which they claimed wasn’t real. She looked awkward but was laughing anyway and then the money got passed onto another member of staff which claimed it was monopoly money. I felt so awful for her. They eventually let her in though even though I am now unsure what she thinks about customer service in this country.

We finally made it to the kiosk in a respectable 45 minutes and he asked us where we were from and asked us what the best thing about Hereford was. In unison, we all replied cider. The guy didn’t have much to say to that which I thought was funny. Even miserable people like booze. He moved us on to a woman who slapped on our wrist bands and asked us to leave her alone and go away.
More than happy to oblige, we left to get in through security and show our wrist bands thinking the worst was over. How wrong was i.

Within moments of us approaching, they were kicking off saying we had the wrong wrist band. Ours was silver and theirs were green. Poor Lewis was actually convinced for a second and I saw him starting to panic whilst she was repeatedly asking us where we got them from and how they weren’t valid. I literally couldn’t deal with it.
The security room was so amazing though. It was like Zap. Don’t know if you guys remember that program but its full 90’s kid genius. All the security belts and security detector gates were made out of paper and outlined with sharpie. They were so awesome. I've just found out it was a commissioned piece by Bill Barminski and you should check him out.
I wasn’t allowed in because I was smiling too much, naturally, but was eventually let off the hook because I tried really hard not to, and then we entered a fresh hell.


Inside-

As soon as we entered the dismaland park, there was a lady on the other side handing out leaflets. I say handing out lightly. James went to take one from her, where she promptly threw it on the floor for him to pick up. He thought that was the best thing ever. I watched a lady also struggle to pull one off her as she wouldn’t let go which was so hilarious. Only hilarious because I didn’t dare attempt to get one.  The very same foreign lady from before was next in line to collect a leaflet and obviously wondering what she had done to deserve such treatment, picked it off the floor and moved promptly out of the exit to the whole exhibition. I really hope she was okay. We ended up sharing one between all 3 of us to literally avoid it.

I decided I needed a drink more than anything, so we headed over to the bar. I don’t know why I thought it would be any different. We were greeted by a guy who was flicking popcorn at everyone. I wasn’t sure I could deal with anymore conflict but I needed wine. I was torn.
I eventually plucked up the courage to approach him and he was just as mean as I thought he would be. I asked “Please may I have some wine please, of red variety… please” and I assume he sensed how terrified I was because he I’ded me, said "Thanks Soph" and just threw some snarls at me whilst handing my change. I take that as a success. Even if he did pour wine all over the table whilst pouring it into my cup – on purpose.
Lewis however, got his change screwed up and thrown at him and James had coke poured all over his hand. Never the less – we all had our beverages and headed off to sit down on the deck chairs, completely on our guard and in no way relaxed.

I think my favourite part of the exhibition was the posters which is art work of Wasted Rita.
It wasn’t anything to do with Disney which is a little surprising for me but I just thought it was great. It was real, honest and heartfelt.

My second favourite which was park related were the boats. You know the ones you get where you put in a quid and you get to drive them around with a steering wheel? Apart from the boats were filled with immigrants. I thought that was really clever.

There was a whale jumping out of a toilet into a paddling pool through a hoop of a trainer, representing the whole scandal of sea world which I thought was amazing. (Sea world, you are shit)

I’m not sure I can really put into words what Dismaland meant to me, but ill try. My personal interpretation is that it was of what’s actually going on in the world, covered up with glitter and butterflies and everything is not what it seems. I saw capitalism, ignorance, shelter and hopelessness.

There was also a giant sandcastle. And i don’t fucking understand how anyone got this crisp in a bottle.
Lewis photo bombed this couple who had a selfie stick which was frankly an amazing achievement, and then we left and I got candy floss and a slushy, just for some happy childhood regression. I made James promise to take me to actual Disneyland after that experience.


P.s If i was better at life i would work out how to put the photos next to what i'm talking about.