I left my bed

I was at my highest weight to my knowledge at 10.4lbs, which is a bit of junk in trunk carrying for a 5footer. I'd settled into a routine of drinking lots of red wine after about 2 years of not and eating more Camembert than you can shake a stick at. My partner then moved to London to go to university and that's when I started to eat less. It wasn't a concious thing. All I had knew was that the man I loved had moved over 100 miles away and we were destined to be doomed. Neither of us could work out how to make it work. I decided we shouldn't try and then changed my mind. James, my partner, then decided it was best that we didn't try and changed his mind. As you can imagine, all of this took a toll on my appetite, not to mention the now 40 cigarettes I was smoking a day to help with heartache and hopeless depression about not having a job, or a goal, life or now the man I love. Awesome. I moved to London in an effort to completely revamp my life. I was aware it...

I am unsure what to do with my blog currently as I am being pulled towards more "real things" to talk about. I don't know what you guys prefer? But I'm being dragged by my emotions more and more away from my adventures and more towards things like psychology, body image, life and the pursuits of happiness. Nothing too heavy then. Whilst I was quite desperate to become a lifestyle blog first and foremost, as that's what I knew best, it started to leave me feeling empty. The joy I once had writing about the things I had done and seen soon started to fade when they became part of my everyday life. I realise now what I was really celebrating was my achievements of overcoming my anxiety, breaking out of comfort zones and emotional boundaries and throwing myself in the deep end. It wasn't really about what I was doing but more about the fact I was, and why and how I was feeling whilst doing it. I spend a lot of time now wanting to help people or make them smile and ...

I was chatting with a good friend of mine the other day on the beach. We were out in our bikinis, talking about if we had a body part we’d change. We both said we had, but that would be telling. I got thinking in more depth about what I would really like to change and why and how our society has created an image we would all like to fit. Long hair, a straight nose, full lips, large round boobs with small nipples, slim waist but with curves… you get the idea. And of course, the ever growing trend of shrinking down to a certain size. I am SO pleased to see that this is coming to a halt pretty sharply. There was a big ordeal about the latest mannequin in Topshop, idolising an unattainable weight for most women. Now, I wouldn't have batted an eye lid at it before, at least not consciously but I think that’s the operative word. Consciously. I realised how subtly I have looked at clothes on a mannequin, thought “those jeans look pretty dope” and then gone into the chan...