The Royal Tease and G.A.Y
I don't even really know where to begin. I managed to get some guest tickets for "The Royal Tease" burlesque show at the Intrepid Fox. We had almost a full house to go out with so I knew it was going to be pretty good whatever happened. And we had Molly. So you know.
There was a strong start to the evening. I had to round everyone up, kind of like a mother. Everyone needed a wee or forgot their oyster card. We finally made it out the door 20 minutes later, only to get a tube that was forever delayed at every stop. We were dropping like fly's trying to get to Archway. James left at London bridge to wee and Molly left 2 stops before we got there after standing up because "it would help" and leaving her empty bottle of wine on the seat. I did a lot of shouting.
There was a 10 minute wait in between each stop and i was half an hour late for something i was suppose to be reviewing.
We got there and it was rammed. This tiny little "metal bar" just opposite the tube station. We walked into Sadie singing, to then see a spider burlesque performer.
There was a guy that did a lot of painful stuff to his face. I've never been a fan of that. Hurting yourself on purpose for entertainment is just fucking bizzare to me. Hurting yourself by accident and used as entertainment... hilarious.
There was this weird naked statue with a gas mask on which me and James were totally into and we looked at a bit before all of us had our photo taken. We then saw a burlesque fire act and then the last burlesque act of the evening.
Everything was going fine until she was pouring the blood all over her and her pastie came off. I felt so bad for her, but in all fairness, she fucking owned it. She just knocked the other one off and got on with it.
James said he would of found it more entertaining if she'd of tried to stick the other one back on for the rest of it. Ha!
When that was all over. No-one really knew what to do with themselves. Jake and Molly had no idea what they had just seen (they are more use to Chelsea and sharp clothes) Rosie and Holly had no words, Johnny was dissapointed there wasn't more tits (so was i Johnny, so was I) and to be honest, i had no idea what i had just seen either. So we left, unsure where to take the night from there.
After a couple of drinks, none of us were ready to call it a night, so we venture to G.A.Y.
We got on the tube. Now, i know for some of us, all i need to say is "We were with Molly" to know that anything from then on, wouldn't dissapoint. I have no idea how much she managed to drink in Intrepid Fox or what the hell she drank, but i knew she was going to make this journey a special time, and boy was i right.
The moment we got on, Mols sat next to a man, who had no idea she was talking to him when she turned to him and said " Bring the beat in?" She then proceeded to rap, and hum whilst stomping her legs. Sitting down wasn't enough, so she ventured into the middle of the carriage and had a bit of a dance whilst "beat boxing". It was so beautiful. Everyone on the tube was trying not to laugh and we realised we were "those guys" people wish would vacate the tube. After falling over backwards somehow, and recovering, Mols did a bit more dancing until we had to change over.
After an escalator selfie with James including a Jake photobomb, we were about to change over. If only i could insert the snapchat video Jake managed to take with Molly and Johnny rapping at the station. Cant even deal thinking about it.
We graced everyone on the next tube with our presence, and this time, it didn't get quieter.
Whilst no one was "bringing the beat in", we did have a full rendition of "Love on top by Beyonce" featuring guest singers, Holly and Rosie this time.
3 very startled yet entertained men remained at the other end of the carriage whilst everyone screeched at the top of their lungs, bar Johnny, James and I, who had given up with our apologetic faces to the general public and just enjoyed it.
It was my first night in G.A.Y and i was flipping excited (every right to be, its now my favourite place)
We all got drinks and i went straight to the loo.
The toilets were grim, with incense bursting into the air from the middle of the room. I didn't really look at my surroundings and just headed straight for a wee, but when i came out... what the fuck. There were GUYS in the toilet!!! GUYS!!! It was then i realised that it was a unisex toilet and that's why there was an attendant there. I did not feel cool about this. I wondered why it was unisex.. is it because people would just go in and do it if they were separate? Because it was a gay club? James said it doesn't stop it anyway so i was just baffled and very uneasy. My aversion to it did surprise me as usually i'm quite open about anything but i didn't go for a wee again.
I met James back at the bar, just in time to witness a girl approach Molly, and before she had the chance to say anything, Molly said "Oh no i'm sorry, i'm not a lesbian, i have a boyfriend!"
James and I were in hysterics. Today i have been informed that this girl had actually be smacking Molly's bum previous to this. So pretty legit reaction Mols!
We all grabbed our drinks and headed on to the dance floor and i've got to say, i don't remember one tune i didn't like. Taylor Swift - Blank Space came on and that was it. My acting skills took over and i performed a good amount of the video to James. Medium concerned i have watched the video enough to even replicate it. Molly, Holly, Rosie and I then got on the seating area and did some dancing - as girls do, before being asked to then get back down again.
There was a lot of grinding and booty shaking with everyone, until eventually (and inevitably) things got rowdy. Molly started flashing me and Jake tried to flash ME back as a response. Strong move. I ended up taking off my bra because of being uncomfortable (in my old age) and putting on Johnny's glasses because i could "see better". I also cant forget to mention going into what i though was James's pocket for my phone when i actually went into Johnny's and came out with a hand full of gunk.
Johnny explained to me his garlic sauces had leaked in his pocket. Oh okay then.
After that, we decided to call it a night. We all wanted our beds and fast food so we made a trip to Mcdonalds, which seemingly gave us the best chips we've had from Mcdonalds, like ever. And we don't think it's just because we were drunk. I also saw a guy give a homeless man a burger and that warmed my little heart, just in time before the night ended.
Night rating was a solid 9/10
Missing one point because of the weird toilet
Gained about 5 points because of Molly being there
There was a strong start to the evening. I had to round everyone up, kind of like a mother. Everyone needed a wee or forgot their oyster card. We finally made it out the door 20 minutes later, only to get a tube that was forever delayed at every stop. We were dropping like fly's trying to get to Archway. James left at London bridge to wee and Molly left 2 stops before we got there after standing up because "it would help" and leaving her empty bottle of wine on the seat. I did a lot of shouting.
There was a 10 minute wait in between each stop and i was half an hour late for something i was suppose to be reviewing.
We got there and it was rammed. This tiny little "metal bar" just opposite the tube station. We walked into Sadie singing, to then see a spider burlesque performer.
There was a guy that did a lot of painful stuff to his face. I've never been a fan of that. Hurting yourself on purpose for entertainment is just fucking bizzare to me. Hurting yourself by accident and used as entertainment... hilarious.
There was this weird naked statue with a gas mask on which me and James were totally into and we looked at a bit before all of us had our photo taken. We then saw a burlesque fire act and then the last burlesque act of the evening.
Everything was going fine until she was pouring the blood all over her and her pastie came off. I felt so bad for her, but in all fairness, she fucking owned it. She just knocked the other one off and got on with it.
James said he would of found it more entertaining if she'd of tried to stick the other one back on for the rest of it. Ha!
When that was all over. No-one really knew what to do with themselves. Jake and Molly had no idea what they had just seen (they are more use to Chelsea and sharp clothes) Rosie and Holly had no words, Johnny was dissapointed there wasn't more tits (so was i Johnny, so was I) and to be honest, i had no idea what i had just seen either. So we left, unsure where to take the night from there.
After a couple of drinks, none of us were ready to call it a night, so we venture to G.A.Y.We got on the tube. Now, i know for some of us, all i need to say is "We were with Molly" to know that anything from then on, wouldn't dissapoint. I have no idea how much she managed to drink in Intrepid Fox or what the hell she drank, but i knew she was going to make this journey a special time, and boy was i right.
The moment we got on, Mols sat next to a man, who had no idea she was talking to him when she turned to him and said " Bring the beat in?" She then proceeded to rap, and hum whilst stomping her legs. Sitting down wasn't enough, so she ventured into the middle of the carriage and had a bit of a dance whilst "beat boxing". It was so beautiful. Everyone on the tube was trying not to laugh and we realised we were "those guys" people wish would vacate the tube. After falling over backwards somehow, and recovering, Mols did a bit more dancing until we had to change over.
After an escalator selfie with James including a Jake photobomb, we were about to change over. If only i could insert the snapchat video Jake managed to take with Molly and Johnny rapping at the station. Cant even deal thinking about it.
We graced everyone on the next tube with our presence, and this time, it didn't get quieter.
Whilst no one was "bringing the beat in", we did have a full rendition of "Love on top by Beyonce" featuring guest singers, Holly and Rosie this time.
3 very startled yet entertained men remained at the other end of the carriage whilst everyone screeched at the top of their lungs, bar Johnny, James and I, who had given up with our apologetic faces to the general public and just enjoyed it.
It was my first night in G.A.Y and i was flipping excited (every right to be, its now my favourite place)
We all got drinks and i went straight to the loo.
The toilets were grim, with incense bursting into the air from the middle of the room. I didn't really look at my surroundings and just headed straight for a wee, but when i came out... what the fuck. There were GUYS in the toilet!!! GUYS!!! It was then i realised that it was a unisex toilet and that's why there was an attendant there. I did not feel cool about this. I wondered why it was unisex.. is it because people would just go in and do it if they were separate? Because it was a gay club? James said it doesn't stop it anyway so i was just baffled and very uneasy. My aversion to it did surprise me as usually i'm quite open about anything but i didn't go for a wee again.
I met James back at the bar, just in time to witness a girl approach Molly, and before she had the chance to say anything, Molly said "Oh no i'm sorry, i'm not a lesbian, i have a boyfriend!"
James and I were in hysterics. Today i have been informed that this girl had actually be smacking Molly's bum previous to this. So pretty legit reaction Mols!
We all grabbed our drinks and headed on to the dance floor and i've got to say, i don't remember one tune i didn't like. Taylor Swift - Blank Space came on and that was it. My acting skills took over and i performed a good amount of the video to James. Medium concerned i have watched the video enough to even replicate it. Molly, Holly, Rosie and I then got on the seating area and did some dancing - as girls do, before being asked to then get back down again.
Johnny explained to me his garlic sauces had leaked in his pocket. Oh okay then.
After that, we decided to call it a night. We all wanted our beds and fast food so we made a trip to Mcdonalds, which seemingly gave us the best chips we've had from Mcdonalds, like ever. And we don't think it's just because we were drunk. I also saw a guy give a homeless man a burger and that warmed my little heart, just in time before the night ended.
Night rating was a solid 9/10
Missing one point because of the weird toilet
Gained about 5 points because of Molly being there
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