What would you say?

Sat at the station waiting for my train for 4 hours gave me a lot of time to think. Dangerous, I know.
After one cup of tea on the house, I got to thinking about how I might actually be the happiest I have ever been in my entire life.

A big part of my life has changed. I have moved out of my home town and into the big smoke, I have picked a career path (crazy coming from Mrs no career over here) and have put all the steps in motion to living my life how I want to live it and being completely unapologetic about that.
But what’s change the most is inside – Vom, I know. I know what you’re thinking, but don’t write me off just yet.

My entire perspective on life has changed. I see the world as a cruel, calculated place – more than I ever thought possible. I know a lot more about politics, the government, media, feminism, racism, consumerism, capitalism, a lot of the isms. I think the world is fucking mental. Like, literally mental and whilst this is somewhat a defeatist attitude, these problems are too great for me. I will contribute to a positive movement wherever I can, but since deciding not to take the worlds problems on my little frames shoulders, things have become a lot lighter. I also still relish in the good. The little things, like watching old couples hold hands, or people paying for other peoples food when there are short, buying sandwiches for homeless people and the sense of community that happens almost anywhere in the world if someone is in need of help.

What I can contribute to the quality of my life and other people’s lives, is being true to myself and my feelings.
Anyone who knows me knows I’m a people person paradox. I kind of hate them but I kind of love them.
Even though a lot of the time I have undying urges to shut out the world, I am that twat that will talk to you on the tube, offer to help even if it does give me a panic attack inside and smile when I order a tea because realistically, you are probably having a shittier day than me because you are at work.

People make the world go around. That book you’re reading is the blood, sweat and tears of someone else, that T.V program you are watching is the hard work of so many different people, but even on a bigger scale to that, my friends and family are my life. I wouldn’t have one without them. I have a mantra I like to use which is “people make places”.  

I could go to Paris by myself and see the sights, eat a macaroon and have a pretty good time but I could go with one of my best friends, wear matching berets and laugh for days about when one of us doesn’t understand how to use a French toilet. Memories are some of the most important things to me, and I wonder how much time we spend taking the people who help make these for granted? These people, who make our entire lives just a little better, just a little more worth it.

So this leads to a new mantra I’ve been thinking about “What would you say at their funeral?”
It doesn’t sound cheery does it, but it’s probably the most thought provoking question you could ask someone about yourself or ask yourself about someone else.
You would probably say everything you could never say to their face, everything you always thought you had time to say and everything you wish you had.

Whilst this is a mishmash of self love and love for others, this links me back to my original point of being the happiest I’ve ever been in myself. We only have one life to be comfortable being ourselves and expressing our feelings to the people we love, make time for the people and things that make us happy , being true to who we are, who we want to be and being happy about it.